Good friendships are with people who don’t make you feel like you have to scramble for words, or who understand that sometimes you don’t always need to talk to be content.
They’re the people you argue with but who still stick by you and, in many ways, they’re like family. Because of this, I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to say that, establishing a strong friendship is akin to coming home, because you find someone who you can really be yourself around.
Maintaining contact with friends after you move away however, can be difficult.
There’s the physical distance which means you can’t hang out as much and also, you start to make new friends and so do they. It seems inevitable that slowly you will drift apart, not because either of you want to, but because you’re so wrapped up in your own lives that it’s easy to forget and, before long, you feel like the distance between you is so great reaching out again can seem difficult or awkward.
Moving from a town in south Essex to Ipswich, I can say that I’ve lost a few connections this way. I remember I would get into internal debates with myself over whether or not it was worthwhile keeping the connection when it felt like I was the only one attempting to establish contact and I have let go of some because of this. What I’ve learnt however, was that if the friendship has a good foundation, it doesn’t really matter how much time has passed in between talking to each other. In fact, some of the best memories I have are meeting up with friends after being apart for so long; it becomes more special that way because you don’t know when you’ll next have time for each other.
For my part, if I feel I haven’t been as available over an extended period, then I always try to make it right by arranging to meet up and do something together.
What’s important to remember though is that, friendships come and go, and that if they do drift away then it’s not personal. But that it’s never too late to send someone a message to let them know you’re thinking of them and want to meet up.